pick up the pieces

Every time I pick up the pieces and think I'm fine then he says "hey" and all the pieces fall apart and fly away in the wind and i break. I break a little worse every time, but I put on a fake smile act cool then when I am alone as soon as i get to the safety of my bed i let out all the tears I have been holding back. every time I close my eyes he's all i see, when i dream he is all i dream about. He is the only one i have ever loved this much and this deeply and he seems to just shrug me off and that kills me. I know i have to stay strong and keep picking up the pieces of my heart until i get over him only then will i ever be whole again and even then there will still be a big piece missing.